Archive for February, 2010

Zaumism #9

Friday, February 26th, 2010

Zaum. Zaum.

Going a Little Insane

Friday, February 26th, 2010

I have spent the last 15 minutes reading websites and blogs like SixThousand and feeling exceptionally jealous about their wizz-bang, whack-a-doodle writing style and I’ve realised that that is what I haven’t done thus far in this blog. I’ve been holding myself back, restraining, conforming, fitting to the mould of societal expectations. BUT WHY??

So I’ve decided to let loose and go a bit crazy for just a second. Of course, now that I start this is just turning into a ramble with no structure, point or direction but does that really matter? Yes. Probably. Ok, so let’s give this some structure – I’ll write a story. But as you read this, keep in mind that it is coming off the top of my head and I won’t edit or change it to make it sound better. So really, if it ends up being a pile of rubbish that makes you regurgitate your last meal, it isn’t my fault! You read it.

The Girl With Two Canvas Bags *

Look at her go – walking along without a care in the world, swinging her two canvas bags. She holds her head high, a light breeze dances through her hair and she smiles. Pity she has such awful teeth. People stop and watch her pass, whispering to each other, “Who is she?” “Where is she going?” “Why doesn’t she see a dentist?”

No one knows her or dares speak to her. And she doesn’t care. All she does is walk on, smiling. Suddenly, out of absolutely no where, comes the strongest easterly wind you’ve ever experienced in your life. WHOOSH!!!!!!!! The wind grabs hold of her two canvas bags and away they fly, out of her hands, down the street, across the park, up into the air, over a house, under a bridge and down a drain.

The girl stops and watches the bags disappear. “Ahhh nuts!” she says and frowns.

The End

*Title supplied by K.M.D.

Well I’m glad that’s over. I think I had better write a Limerick in an attempt to raise the bar again.

There once was a girl with two bags
Who loved to read trashy mags
She believed everything she read
Her friends wished she was dead
And considered her to be a real drag.


Thursday, February 25th, 2010

Prepare yourselves, folks. I can feel a ramble coming on. A pommy friend has requested a “Zaum Blog Topic” and has offered “Superstition” as the area of discussion. Now, I’m not a very superstitious person myself, but I do spend a lot of time with a boy who touches wood EVERY time something either good or potentially bad is mentioned. I have often asked him why he does this and why he thinks touching wood is going to make any difference. His responses have basically revolved around the fact that it’s just what he believes to be the case and if he stops touching wood then his leg may fall off. And we can’t have that happening, can we?

Superstitions are much like chinese whispers – everyone seems to understand them in a different way. Cultures, generations, genders have different ideas and some people just remain completely oblivious to the entire concept. Much like old wives tales and stories passed down from one generation to the next, they evolve and change and become more and less relevant as time progresses. I googled superstitions and discovered some that I had never heard of before on an ‘unusual trivia’ website:

  • When you see an ambulance you’re supposed to hold your breath until you see a brown or black dog.
  • If a bee comes into your house then someone is going to come and visit. Don’t kill the bee because then the visitor will be annoying and probably have muddy shoes.
  • It’s bad luck to light three cigarettes with one match. Bad luck, but very talented!
  • Apparently lettuce has magical and healing powers including the ability to make people fall in love AND counteracting the effects of wine. Don’t they cancel each other out?

The ritual of passing on stories is interestingly portrayed on the new Melbourne Wheeler Writing Centre website. Here they have asked writers to tell stories that have been passed on to them. A very interesting collection of videos – I recommend you have a look.

And as a final note, I had better insert this YouTube video because I can’t not.

When Stapling Becomes Too Hard.

Tuesday, February 23rd, 2010

While researching coil spiral binders for potential future projects, I came across the Frama website which included this brilliant demonstration of an automatic stapling machine.


Don't waste your time pressing staplers.

I particularly like how you’re invited to call either Australia or New Zealand to get more information. I wonder who answers the phone… Kevin Rudd?

An Intimate Experience

Monday, February 22nd, 2010

Part of my new Zaum-philosophy is to experience as much ‘art’ and ‘creativity’ as possible. I want to experience new things, see new things, eat new things, and go to places I have never been before. On Friday night I attended a house performance of UK-based folk band, Emily Barker and the Red Clay Halo, only partially aware of what exactly I was going to. My boyfriend’s family knew the family of Emily, and the show just happened to be performed in the house of my best friend’s Aunt. It was one of those moments in life when you’re in the room with a large group of people who are strangely related or connected in someway and you seem to be one of the links in the chain.

Anyway, I went not knowing what to expect was pleasantly surprised – Emily and her trio of a violinist, cellist, and accordionist jammed and bantered in front of a crowd of 40-odd. It was a casual affair and everyone watching came away with big smiles and general contentment. I came away feeling inadequate and wishing I could sing or play a musical instrument of some description. I am very jealous of people who are musically talented and would love to write songs. But songs are like poetry and require a keen aptitude for rhythm and sound. My words tend to just Crash and Slam. Perhaps I could take up drums…

In the mean time, check out Emily and her band.

Recycled Art

Saturday, February 20th, 2010

I discovered something new in the Perth ‘art scene’ this week – a community initiative that artists can join and have access to a wide variety of recycled materials. Everything is donated from local businesses and they run workshops with school students. This weekend they’re having a garage sale that anyone can go and pick up some re-useable junk. Check it out – REmida.

Zaumism #8

Wednesday, February 17th, 2010

Feeling the Zaum?

Lost Translations

Wednesday, February 17th, 2010

When I was at high school, my best friend and I used to send each other emails that had been “Babelfish“ed into French. In year 9, the concept of translating from one language to another seemed possible with free web translators and the mistranslations were just a joke. At the time using these translators to help with assignments was very naughty but time savy and would the teachers really notice?

Now that I am helping my boyfriend learn French and listening to him attempt to translate French songs and sentences straight into English, I realise how naive I was. Having since lived in France and learnt the language to a much greater extent, the differences in sentence structure, emphasis, word choice and general phrasing is clearer to me. There are no English words to describe the “Bofffff” sound the French make when they’re exasperated or just can’t be bothered. At the same time, there aren’t enough adjectives in French to account for the millions of choices in English. In order to speak another language you must understand the cultural intricacies of the native speakers, and become one of them yourself. Whilst living in France I grew a distinctive pout and would shrug my shoulders a lot. I also developed an adoration for stinky cheese but that’s a story for another day.

All of this said, the joy and amusement of translating and re-translating back into the original language can never be ignored. Let’s have some fun…

E: One day, while walking through a forest of tall tress, I spied a little rabbit digging a burrow.

F: Un jour, tout en marchant par une forêt de tress grand, je remarquais un petit lapin creusant un terrier.

E: One day, while walking by a forest of very large, I noticed a small rabbit digging a burrow.

E: “What is your name, little rabbit?” I asked. He simply stopped digging, looked at me with one eye brow raised and told me to get lost.

F:” ; Quel est votre lapin nommé et petit ? ” ; J’ai demandé. Il a simplement cessé le creusement, m’a regardé avec un sourcil augmenté et m’a dit d’obtenir perdu.

E: ” ; Which is your named and small rabbit? ” ; J’ asked. It simply ceased the digging, m’ looked with an increased eyebrow and m’ d’ said; to obtain lost.

Good work, Babel.


Saturday, February 13th, 2010

Home grown heat.


That's a spicy chilli!

I’m giving these to my friends who like to add a bit of spice to their lives (well, food…)


Friday, February 12th, 2010

All of this sewing had me craving baking yesterday. However, I didn’t just want to bake any old thing. Biscuits. Delicious, fatty biscuits – preferably with chunks. The trusty Taste website provided me with the solution – Walnut & Chunky Choc Chip Cookies. Due to a lack of walnuts, I substituted almonds, which, I’m sure we can all agree, go better with chocolate anyway! The result? See for yourself…

Chocolate and almond biscuits

When only fat will do.