Relaxing Times are Fun Times #4

Some of you may remember my initiation into the world of beauty treatments in December 2010 when I had a facial and massage in Perth. It was one of the most gloriously relaxing moments of my life and so I had been contemplating having another for quite some time. While living in France, I have managed to sign up to various websites that offer promotions and deals on a wide range of awesome things and one day I decided to purchase a facial and massage for the bargain price of 35 Euros. The other day I realised my voucher was going to expire so this week I made an appointment.

Yesterday was the big day where I psyched myself up and entered the world of beauty treatments. I hate doing this – I really do. I feel so uncomfortable and out of place, and I’m fairly certain everyone is staring at me thinking “What is she doing here?” The girls running the salon were relatively nice but it is always a bit difficult when they realise I am not from these parts and I don’t know how to answer “What is your skin type like?” in English, let alone French. Apparently my skin is “sensible et reactif” to which I strongly agreed and further agreed when she started putting stuff on my face and my skin started to burn. I decided to go with it as it was quite relaxing and I couldn’t feel my skin peeling off just yet.

The facial was nice although obviously cheaper and it didn’t smell like biscuits like the last time. It finished fairly abruptly and I was happily dozing and almost asleep when I realised she was talking to me and telling me to get dressed and to meet her at the “vistabulle“.

When I purchased this ‘beauty treatment’ I thought I was buying a massage, with hands, nice smelling oil stuff, soft music and me feeling awesome at the end of it. Turns out I had signed up for the electric chair. Well, not quite but I was made to sit in a big leather chair that then proceeded to ‘massage’ me. Unfortunately the chair was designed for French people who are generally at least a head shorter than me. When I first sat down, my legs were raised and my knees almost came up to my chin. The girl frowned and suggested I move my legs so that my feet were hanging off the end as I am “bigger than most”. Once I was settled, I was handed this weird headset that blew oxygen up my nose and I was then left alone in the room for half an hour.

Vistabulle

I sat in one of these.

The chair thing wasn’t bad – but it was hardly the same as having someone give you a real massage. The main problem was that I was too big for the chair so when it was supposed to be massaging my shoulders it was hitting me on my shoulder blades. Boney things, shoulder blades. I eventually started to enjoy it and then it stopped. And I waited. And no one came. So I leaped out of the chair which had turned off in a reclined position, put my shoes on and went down stairs to where the girls continued to look at me strangely and bid me farewell.

I can’t say I will be going back and next time I will make certain that I am getting a human massage rather than the electric chair. I did manage to then wander through Paris looking like a puppet on a string, my arms and legs flopping along, and I walked ten times slower than I ever have in my life. But after an hour or so it had worn off and I was back to myself. Shame.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

One Response to “Relaxing Times are Fun Times #4”

  1. heather says:

    hahaha – reminds me of the massage chair I sat in once – it jammed mid-massage leaving a big hard lump in my back. They then got a cushion to cover the lump so I could finish my pedicure. I was sore for days!!!

Leave a Reply