What Did I Do?

I am currently sitting in my apartment, attempting not to move or do anything that may result in some sort of outcome. Writing this is risking everything. I really don’t know why the universe is against me but it is. And it is MEAN. Horribly mean. It keeps kicking me in the shin, right on the bone. I keep asking it nicely to stop but will it? NO! Instead it ups the anti and throws something even worse at me. I am contemplating just going to bed and giving up on today because at least that way I might not get hit by a bus or break my leg. But then again, with my current luck, a bus will probably somehow find a way to drive into the building, up two flights of stairs, along the corridor, through my door, up to the mezzanine and BAM! Got her!

Right, so I have already explained the spilt soap story which then led to my money being eaten by the machine. At 10.30am, I was told that the machine was working again and so I went downstairs to the laundry and inserted more money. It wasn’t working. So back I went and told the girl that it, in fact, was still broken, to which she was quite surprised but wrote herself a note to ask someone else to have a look at it. She would let me know when it was fixed. Goodo.

At lunchtime I hadn’t heard anything so I asked if there had been any progress but no, a technician had been called. At 2.30pm I received another email saying that the technician had come and the machine was fixed. Excellent! I was outside working at the time so I packed up my things, came inside, went back downstairs, inserted more money… Of course, it didn’t work and I now have 5 Euros stuck in the machine. Fantastic. Back upstairs I went where I was told that she had seen a man leave the general vicinity of the laundry and she had presumed it was the technician and that he had fixed it. Apparently not.

By now it was 3pm and I wanted to get my washing done so I put it all into my shopping trolley and walked to a laundromat in a street nearby where they had a long row of machines, all of them available, all of them working. I did manage to choose number 13 without realising it but figured it just made sense. I sat around and read a book as my clothes got washed and then headed back home, happy to have clean underwear.


Number 13 worked remarkably well considering my luck today.

To get from the laundromat and my apartment, I only had to walk on two streets. Surely nothing significant could happen in those three minutes. WRONG. As I walked along, my shoe came off so I had to stop and put it back on again (that isn’t the significant thing). As I did this, a guy who was tall and relatively good looking walked past me, and then turned around and started talking to me. I was at a stage where I’d probably have spoken to anyone because I had clean washing and nothing bad had happened in the last 20 minutes. So when he asked me if I was doing the shopping I said no, and that I had just done my washing blah blah, where are you from, Australia is a nice country… etc etc. He spoke English, he seemed normal and didn’t appear to be a COMPLETE sleaze.

We reached my place and I said goodbye and he continued to chat for a little while and he seemed like a genuinely nice person. Then when I started to leave he kind of moved towards me, which is just annoying and unnecessary but I decided it would just be easier to do the French two-kiss thing and then run away. So I turned my head to enough of an angle to have that happen but then this weird, pathetic look of “Oh you are so bootifulll” came over him, as he then attempted to kiss me on the lips. NOOOOOOOOOO WWAAAYYYYYY!!!!! I pushed him away and walked off, seriously annoyed at myself for getting into that position. But why, why, why did he go and do that? What was he thinking?? Is he INSANE? Because up until that point, I was actually enjoying myself but then he turned into a creepy Frenchman and thought I’d want to kiss him after knowing him for an entire three minutes.

It did result in me briefly bursting into tears once inside the safety of my convent because I felt so abused. I know it isn’t THAT bad but still… who wants strange men kissing them randomly on streets? Not I. Maybe this will mean I will never find myself a nice French man but I really, really hope there are some who aren’t creeps and who don’t think that’s an ok thing to do. I am now completely turned off all men. Maybe that is what the point of today was – to make me feel good about being single. Actually no, because if I had a boyfriend then I wouldn’t have to worry about meeting someone and therefore wouldn’t have stupidly decided that talking to random strange men was an ok idea… Please make today STOP.

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One Response to “What Did I Do?”

  1. zoetthepoet says:

    This just epitomizes the conundrum facing all single women today! There’s no such thing anymore as an innocent stroll along the street with one’s washing; it’s a minefield of miscommunication, mistrust and unrealistic expectations, usually resulting in feelings of bafflement and guilt when one refuses to be kissed by a stranger. And a French one at that! But keep your chin up, Jess, because there’s always tomorrow! (said the ever wise twenty-three-old). And, if all else fails, I know a really lovely Frenchman who will dance with you like a lunatic on the d-floor and not once expect a kiss.

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