Meet Steve

A month or so ago, I asked my friend Steve what I should write a blog post about and he gave the usual response that most people give – “Write about me.” I gave him the terms and conditions that I would deliver a true and honest report of him and that it would require a photograph. He agreed. And so here it is.

Steve

Hello Steve.

Meet Steve. I call him Sustainability Steve and now so do at least seven people at the Subiaco council. I’m not quite sure how no one else had noticed that glaringly obvious nickname before seeing as his name is Steve and he works in sustainability. Clearly I am more naturally creative than I think.

Steve is Scottish, which we can’t hold against him but it does mean he has a particularly difficult accent. He also mumbles a lot so I spend a lot of time asking him to repeat himself. If we’re in a noisy room at the time, I will often give up on the third repeat attempt and simply smile and nod and hope I will work out what he’s talking about later on in the conversation.

I have been friends with Steve for just over two months and during that short period of time I have managed to learn a lot about him. He has a similar wandering spirit that I can relate to and he dreams of living up a mountain one day (which I can’t relate to.) We started a trend of drinking cabernet merlot next to a fire at The Queens pub but now we won’t do that anymore because it’s too far for me to come and he refuses to live in Manchester.

Steve likes to pretend he is tough but actually he’s not. He is what I like to call a ‘grumpy arse’ and he almost always has a frown on his face. He complains a lot, particularly when he has the sniffles, and is just generally disgruntled with life and the unsustainable living habits of all human beings. Don’t we know that the world is going to end as we know it in 2030? Then what? THEN WHAT?

The only thing that makes Steve smile is the motorbike that he recently purchased. He also likes motorbike jackets and talking about his motorbike. He also talks a lot about sailing and I don’t understand what he’s going on about. The same applies for his current weightlifting obsession and his personal trainer, Johnny. Every day I hear about Johnny but I don’t think Johnny hears about me.

One day Steve is going to live in Canada, buy a van, grow his hair and own a dog and he will spend his time living on mountains, skiing and lighting fires. He went to military school so he could easily fend off bears and Canadians.

Steve has promised that we will meet again within the next twelve months and if we don’t he owes me $20. That will come in handy for this poor, starving student.

Tags: , , , , ,

2 Responses to “Meet Steve”

  1. Chris Grady says:

    Hope Steve smiles at this blog, good to meet your new found (and now abandoned on the other side of the planet) friends.

  2. Jess says:

    Hi Chris! He did send me a smiley emoticon so I take that as a positive result.

Leave a Reply