Posts Tagged ‘Adrian’

Je Suis Français!

Tuesday, November 1st, 2011

Meet Adrian.

Adrian the Frenchman

Bonjour.

What can we say about Adrian…? He is French. He is 56 years old. He owns a brasserie in Paris that he works at day and night. He hates anything that isn’t French. He has a moustache.

Adrian

What a moustache!

Adrian is very proud of his nationality and rightly so – France has many good features including good food, good wine, lots of holidays. He took over the brasserie from his father, Jean, who also hated anything that wasn’t French. The brasserie is mostly frequented by old French men who have been going there all their lives, tagging along with their fathers back when they were children. Adrian spends most of his day talking to his clientele, smoking, and wiping the counter.

Whenever tourists accidentally enter his café in search of refreshment, Adrian sighs, rolls his eyes and marches over to the unsuspecting guests. “Eeye do not speek Eenglish,” he will say, hoping they leave. But some will insist on staying, so he will slam a menu down on the table and storm off behind the bar. Adrian’s problem with tourists is that they always want to change something in their order – they are never happy with how a dish is served. They want chips instead of potatoes, or even worse they ask for their steak tartare to be cooked. Cooked! Imagine that! No one understands steak tartare like the French.

Adrian spends a lot of time looking at himself in the reflection on the beer taps. Over the years he has grown an impressive moustache which he likes to keep well defined. Grooming is an important part of the Parisian lifestyle and Adrian always want to look his best. He also likes to wear a beret, highlighting his love for his country. Despite his moustache, Adrian has never married, despite proposing to at least three women and hitting on many more. Perhaps it is his slight lack of height – at just 140cm Adrian is not tall. However, he doesn’t let that get to him. Whenever he sees an attractive female, he makes sure she knows it.

Adrian

He's a short man.

Adrian closes his brasserie for the entire month of August every year and heads south to Nice. He enjoys spending his time by the seaside, looking at the beautiful women and floating lazily in the ocean. Usually his entire family joins him in Nice – he has three brothers, two sisters and nine nieces and nephews. He is the grumpy uncle and the children usually stay away from, avoiding long discussions about the importance of school and how great France is.

Adrian is on sale at my Etsy Store. Take him far, far away from France! He needs to see the world.