Posts Tagged ‘chicken’

Do-Do-Do The Funkay Chicken

Monday, August 4th, 2014

My recent adventures in worm charming have encouraged me to seek further animal-based competitions (all with happy outcomes and zero cruelty, of course.). Jon, my social enterprise and environmental development friend (he’s told me I’m not allowed to call him “Garden Boy”), told me about the annual Hen Racing Competition in Bonsall a few months ago and I immediately wanted to go. So Jon, my friends Pooja and Jonathan, and I headed to Bonsall on a rainy Saturday morning to watch the spectacle.

After a slight detour in Derby, which we decided to blame on ‘technology’, we made it to Bonsall as the races were beginning. It was a wet and soggy day so the umbrellas were out and the wellies were on as a few hundred people turned out to cheer on the chickens. Bonsall is a small town and I suspect that the hen race is the biggest event of the year. Saying that, if the hen race was held in London it would be the biggest event of the year there, too.

The race was held in the carpark of the Barley Mow pub with a 20 yard track sectioned off with plastic fencing. The crowds had gathered close to the sides and umbrellas blocked the view so visibility was low for spectators who had turned up a bit late due to scenic drives through Derby. The atmosphere was certainly charged with previous winners returning to reclaim their titles and new birds arriving on the scene with fresh legs. Exciting times at the Bonsall races.

Fighting for the best view.

Fighting for the best view.

Hen racing requires three parties – the hen plus two humans; one to hold and release the bird at the start line and another shaking seed and worms at the finish line. Training is important – hens don’t just run for the sake of it. They need to know where they are going and what they will receive when they get there. Like me, they make decisions based on their stomach but also have a tendency to get lost along the way and simply stop and stare at people.

One of the competitors.

One of the competitors.

Out of around 52 competitors, the winning chicken for 2014 was Road Runner and his ten year old trainer was particularly pleased with the results. It was a very exciting competition but it was a bit unfortunate that the sun didn’t come out until the race had finished. It then turned into a glorious day as we drove back home through the Peaks. Out of worm charming and hen racing, I would pick the worms as my preferred animal event, simply for the weirdness factor. However, Jon is planning on training a hen and raising it to be a born winner. Perhaps next year will bring improved weather and ultimate Hen Racing Championship glory.

Post-race drinks in the sunshine.

Post-race drinks in the sunshine.

In side news, Jonathan photographed the event and they appeared in The Daily Mail and The Telegraph. This story will go down in history.

Rewind to Christmas

Monday, December 31st, 2012

I realised I never blogged about Ben and my Amazing-Christmas-Dinner-Feast-For-Two so allow me to do so now, mainly through photographs. Neither of us could be called chefs (Ben is certainly a baker but a whole chicken is a lot different to a ball of dough), but if the help of a National Trust english cookbook, we made one mighty fine roast chicken. To go with it, we had some delicious buttery brussel sprouts, broccolini and asparagus, crunchy roasted potatoes, and it was all followed by gooey chocolate puddings. It was one seriously good Christmas dinner and our night was made even more special by watching the all-time family classic, Hook. RU-FI-OOOO!

Better than KFC.

Better than KFC.

The recipe made six puddings which sounded like a good idea at the time...

The recipe made six puddings which sounded like a good idea at the time…

Mmmm... chocolate pudding...

Why Are You So Salty, Mr Chicken?

Thursday, November 10th, 2011

Once again those French have tricked me and tricked me good. Tonight I made an ABSOLUTELY DELICIOUS dinner using a recipe from my new Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall cook book, Veg Everyday (recommended to me by Ben, my wonderful darling brother who asked to be mentioned.) It was quinoa with courgettes and onion. YYUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!! Even Tom was mmming and yumming. As it was a completely vegetarian recipe and I was feeding a male, I bought some chicken to grill on my BRAND NEW Bodum grill pan (yay!).

Quinoa and zucchini

Everyone is jealous of my dinner. Jealous, jealous, jealous.

Now, visits to the supermarket are annoying and difficult enough as French supermarkets are generally useless and never have everything you need. I managed to scrounge together most of my required ingredients and made a few compromises in order to not have to go to another shop. I was quite pleased about this fact. It wasn’t until we were eating our meal that I realised I must have gone awry somewhere. The chicken was very, very salty. I am quite sensitive to salt as I don’t add it to anything except when I’m baking potatoes and so I was slightly confused as to why I felt like I was eating salted peanuts and needing more and more water. It wasn’t just me either – Tom agreed and so I wasn’t going crazy. Something was different.

Tom went and checked the herbs I had put on the chicken and questioned me over and over again as to whether or not I had added salt – no. Then we checked the packet the chicken came out of and discovered that the chicken was ‘marinated naturally’ in all sorts of salt. Real salt AND fake additive salt. How I was supposed to notice this I’m not sure as it was in exactly the same packet as ‘normal chicken’ except with a tiny piece of text that said it was marinated. Yum. So my extremely healthy, utterly delicious meal was RUINED by evil French additives. I guess it teaches me a lesson as I should really buy meat from a butcher but I had to buy toilet paper and we have already discussed my dislike for visiting more than one shop in a day.

She’s Jazzin’!

Friday, December 10th, 2010

And one! And two! And lift those legs! Go go go go!

Tania

WOO!

No one can burn fat, increase heart rates and tone your butt like Tania. She knows all the best moves to get you into the best shape possible. Tania runs Jazzercise classes at the local gym three times a day, and never tires from all that exercise. She is super fit, super strong and super sexy. Everyone comes to her classes in the hope of looking as good as her one day, but for a body like hers, you need to live Jazzercise.

Tania has had a troublesome life – she was born into a large family and Super Chicken is her brother. They both have impressive hair styles and that bottom… A clear genetic connection. There is, however, some speculation and gossip around the town that suggests Tania’s biological father was in fact the dark and mysterious duck who passed through briefly in 1987. She definitely has his plumage on her wings. Because of this, Tania always felt somewhat excluded from her family and left home at a young age.

Tania

She's sporty!

Tania lived on the streets and in hostels for some of her teenage years until one day she was in her local Target store and saw a Jazzercise instruction video. The rest is history – she cleaned up her act and took up Jazzercise for a living and hasn’t looked back. She has even made an instruction DVD of her own and was featured on morning television.

She doesn’t speak to her brother much as he is usually busy fighting crime and saving the world but she is starting to attend family gatherings more often. She is hoping to release a range of Jazzercise outfits mostly made from silver lycra. So far she has designed a matching sweat band and leg warmers set and she has been in discussions with the folks at Nike to develop the range further.

Tania

Gorgeous.

Buy Tania now from my Etsy Store!

It’s a Bird… It’s a Plane… It’s a Mix of Both!

Thursday, September 23rd, 2010

Chickens are awesome. They eat your left overs, they aerate your garden, they lay eggs. What more could you want from a creature apart from super-hero powers? Well look what we have here…

Super chicken

It's Super Chicken!

The coolest crime fighting chicken in history, Super Chicken has the sickest cape and the coolest mow-hawk. All the other chickens, and super heros, are jealous of his stylin’.

Super chicken

Look at those long legs!

With legs the size of tree-trunks, Super Chicken can get anywhere faster than you or any other person in the world can. You better believe it – he’s super fast. His cape helps with the speed-factor, too.

Super Chicken

A silver lining

You know a person has taste and super-hero-powers when his cape is made from red material (for speed) with a silver lining (for super powers). It also comes in handy when he goes to the disco (which he does frequently) as he can turn the cape around and it becomes an instant disco-light attractor. Nothing says DISCO FLASH! like that cape!

Super Chicken

Lookin' good from all angles

Speaking of disco-dancin’ would you look at that butt? Nothing grooves on the dance floor better than a large-bottomed Super Chicken. That red rear attracts all the ladies.

Super chicken

Coolin'

When he’s not at the disco he’s waiting for the next opportunity to save the world – the entire time looking as cool as a cucumber and as a hot as BURNING FLAMES. That’s the life of Super Chicken.

On sale soon!

Double Down For Some Finger Lickin’ Goodness

Thursday, May 13th, 2010

Sometimes those fast food joints just get it right. KFC has clearly put together its smartest, most innovative and dedicated team to create their latest meal offer. I won’t go into details because you have to watch the ad for yourself, but let’s just say that I feel their tag line of “Unthink” is very appropriate.

And if anyone can explain the chipmunk voices at the start, I would really appreciate it.