Posts Tagged ‘health’

Happy Needles

Wednesday, October 30th, 2013

Who would have thought that sticking sharp things into your skin could actually make you feel GOOD as opposed to riddled with pain or wishing to faint? I’m not talking syringes here and there are not hallucinogenic drugs involved – just incense, pressure points and teeny, tiny needles that solve all of your woes.

For anyone who cares, I have had stomach issues of various degrees for over 10 years now (when I realised how long it has been I almost fell off my chair) and have recently been feeling nauseous at around 5pm every day. I was sick of feeling sick (ha) and had tried doctors, naturopaths and peppermint tea but nothing helped. So one day, while idly walking through the Northern Quarter I went into The Health Store (a health food and vegetarian store) and enquired about their acupuncturist. The lady in the shop advocated his skills with such impressive salesmanship that I had to make an appointment.

Now, I hate needles. I am one of those people who faints during blood tests and I go all squeamish when the piecing of skin is discussed or performed. It’s just gross. So I felt a wee-bit nervous about allowing someone to stick large numbers of needles into my body. Chris, the acupuncturist, assured me I would be fine and I was quite surprised at how little you feel the needles. Those people who say “Oh you can’t feel the needles at all!” aren’t lying (much). During my first session with Chris, he put needles into my back. After the first needle I felt all brave and proud of my achievements and he placed a second and third needle in. On the fourth, I felt my body start to heat up and my head went into that heavy floppiness that I now recognise as “IT IS TIME TO LIE DOWN, JESS!” I didn’t completely faint – it was just a close call. After Chris had fanned me down and stuck a few more needles in me while I was lying down, I was back to my brave-self.

My second and third adventures to the acupuncturist have resulted in no fainting attacks and an amazing and surprising result. While this blog post may have seemed like an attempt to gain sympathy, it is actually a huge thumbs up to acupuncture and all its wonders. How on earth sticking needles into my wrists, calves and back have resulted in me not feeling nauseous anymore, I have no idea. But I don’t care – it has and I feel so much better than I have in months. I am adding acupuncture to my list of “Things Everyone Should Have” along with personal psychologist, a friend who is a hairdresser, and endless supplies of dark chocolate digestives. Jess’s tips to a perfect life. So go for it, friends. Acupuncture for all!

Confessions of an Addict

Saturday, November 5th, 2011

I admit it. I have an addiction. A nemesis. A weakness. It is plaguing me as I write this, calling me to come and play. But no! I shall resist for now as I have already tasted its sweet, sweet pleasure today. I am making public my new addiction as I feel it is the only way I will overcome its temptations. Prepare yourself… Here it is.

Speculoos spread

A biscuit in a jar!

Speculoos spread. It’s not my fault! My inner half-dutchness requires me to consume mixed spice at least three times a week, and now that I have found it in a delicious, easy-to-spread form I am overwhelmed with desire! It is buttery, sweet, salty and full of speculaas spices – cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, cloves… My blood will not circulate without them.

Personally, I blame a certain Canadian ex-neighbour who left me his Speculoos spread when he moved back to Montreal. Up until that point I had taken deep breaths and moved away from the Spreadable Products isle in the supermarket. But suddenly – BAM! There it was in my kitchen, all delicious and stuff. I already have to give myself pep talks on how I don’t need to eat Nutella all day every day, and now I have a second fatty deliciousness to deal with. It would be ok if the the numbers on the nutritional value table were slightly smaller. I worked out that if I were to eat a quarter of the jar then I would eat as many calories as I burn on my early morning runs. I figure that as long as I eat that quarter of a jar over a 50 minute period (the average time of my morning runs) then it’s fine. Nice and even.

Speculoos spread


Thingths I Thay

Thursday, May 27th, 2010

AAAYYYEEEEEE!!!! I am currently having deep emotional connections to Peter Combe’s song “Thingth I Thay”. There isn’t a YouTube video or appropriate website to link to so I will just type out the chorus lyrics so you can see where I am going with this.

Thingth I thay don’t thound the thame.
It’s even hard to thay my name.
I’d like to thing, to thing a thong,
But every time it thounds tho wrong.
The thingth I thay don’t thound the thame.

I have just returned from a trip to the dentist where I knew I would be having work done on a back tooth but before I knew what was happening there was a needle in my mouth and there was PAIN! EXCRUCIATING PAIN! Ok, well it wasn’t actually THAT bad but I have never had a needle at the dentist before. Usually when I go for my annual check up, I receive a pat on the back and a “Keep up the good work, and remember to floss!” Not this time. Who ever designed me had a bit of fun when it came to my mouth – they forgot three molars and gave me some very large, ‘groovy’ wisdom teeth. Unfortunately these teeth aren’t groovy as in ‘cool’ but groovy as in ‘food gets stuck in there, starts to decay and then creates a giant pile o’ rot  inside my tooth. Fabulous.

So an hour of drilling and filling later, I now have no decay and a beautifully smooth tooth. Sadly, there are two more teeth chomping at the bit (ha ha) to follow in the same direction so it is back to the dentist next week for more needles, drills and this really cool plastic sheet thing that the dentist put in my mouth to isolate my tooth. Gosh those dental technicians are clever folk. Weirdly, the worst part I found was the smell of my tooth as it was being drilled away. YUCK! I guess years worth of rot is going to stink a bit.


Pointing at the numb bits.

And again!

Wednesday, April 21st, 2010

There’s still hope that I will become a fluent French speaker without even trying – according to news about town, earlier this week, a woman in Devon, England, suffered from a severe migraine which altered her accent. She now speaks with a Chinese accent. This isn’t quite the same as waking up from a coma and speaking German instead of your native language but still… how fascinating! This is much easier to comprehend as obviously a part of her brain has been affected by the migraine and has caused it to malfunction. She isn’t impressed with her new accent and is apparently getting ‘annoyed’ by it. I suspect she is now hoping for another migraine to see what accent she can pick up next.

Poor Me.

Tuesday, April 6th, 2010

I was stung by a bee on the weekend. Had I been allergic, I could have died. As I am not allergic, I simply whimpered and said “OW! OW! OW!”

It’s amazing how a creature that is so much smaller than us can affect us so easily. I wish I had a poison-filled sting poking out of my behind that I could stick into people who got in my way. Watch out, world. The bee has given me ideas.

Bee sting

Sympathy please.

When Words Deceive Us

Tuesday, March 9th, 2010

The bi-line for this entry is “When advertising companies make up stuff to make us want to buy things.” or “Evil Marketing Scum.”

Having worked in a position where it was my job to make an educational institution sound good so that people would invest money into studying there, I know what it means to manipulate language. Words can speak the truth or they can be cleverly used to create hidden, and often false, meanings. A building that is old and run down is sold by real estate agents as ‘a character home’ or ‘a renovator’s delight’. A food product that has been pumped full of additives and fake sugars in order to lower the fat content but in return has increased the sugar levels is known as “Light”. Everyone does it – it’s called lying. Or stretching the truth. Or forgetting the bad bits. It is part of our daily lives and there’s no way to escape.

On the weekend I went to a seminar run by Jude Blereau from Whole Food Cooking. Jude runs cooking classes and has written books about whole foods and choosing healthy, organic produce over processed and hormone-filled products. There were three speakers at the seminar who each touched on the importance of choosing ‘real foods’ over processed and made a generally convincing argument. What was scary was the difficulty we face in Perth in accessing truly wholefoods – products that actually are organic or free range or ‘real’. A recent push from food producers has been to label foods as ‘organic’ when really they’re not. The term ‘organic’ has become a tagline that is flung around and used at whim and there aren’t enough guidelines to stipulate when the word can be applied to a food product. This is particularly a problem when ‘happy’ and ‘healthy’ words are connected to foods that are full of preservatives and chemicals that are most likely giving us cancer. I’m not a food hippy but I do like to eat healthily and so it was a bit of an eye opener to see that marketers were once again influencing my food choices. I wonder if the day will come when an advertising company will be sued for stretching the truth about the health benefits of a food. Actually, it has probably already happened in America!

The Second Month

Monday, February 1st, 2010

It seems that the older you get, the faster time passes. I don’t recall time being this rapid when I was a child. I suspect this is due to the fact that time is now money and I need a certain number of hours in the day, days in the month, and months in the year in order to satisfy my work demands. It is already February and Zaum is nearly a month old. I have managed to get some work and I can finally announce that my business cards are at the printers but that is about it. My website is still half finished and I am worried about the extreme lack of work for the future. But it will come, I’m sure. Until then I will sit in front of my computer and muse about aspects of life that no one really cares about.

Today’s topic will be: Feeling Lost Without Fruit and Vegetables.

Most people complain about having to some how fit five vege, two fruit into their diet. Some people would scream with delight if they were told they couldn’t eat another piece of broccoli. I, on the other hand, adore the hated food groups and would quite easily live on spinach for the rest of my life (I’d prefer if I could have a sprinkling of cheese with it though…)

So imagine my horror when I discovered I would have to go without fruit, vegetables and grains (aka. deliciousness) for four whole days for health-test related purposes. Instead I can only eat white bread, pasta and chicken. And vegemite. If I were 8 years old again, I’d be in heaven, but over the past few years I have grown a certain addiction to vegetables and I feel like someone has stolen my favourite Barbie. Normally at this time of the day I would sneak off in search of a piece of chocolate but currently all I want is a plum. Or perhaps a Pink Lady apple. Mmmm… At least I’m allowed solid food today though. On Wednesday all I can have is clear liquids which I am dreading more than the needles they’re going to stick into me. Hurry up time and speed up again. Bring Thursday afternoon when everything will return to normal and I can eat a whole bag of spinach leaves.

P.S. You’ll be pleased to hear that avocado I bought on Friday was DELICIOUS and well worth the $3.60.