Posts Tagged ‘Jeff’

Doug is Depressed.

Saturday, October 1st, 2011

Everyone meet Doug.

Doug the sock creature

Meet Doug

Doug is the Senior Complaints Manager at Bargains R Us and he hates his job. Who wouldn’t? All day he deals with the hundreds of disgruntled customers who discover that sometimes it is best to pay a little bit more to get a better quality product. Not only this, but Doug is in charge of the incompetent teenage staff that the shop employs to answer phone calls and handle returned goods. From 8 ’til 5 everyday, Doug waits for the next attack from a bitter old lady or an unimpressed business man who aren’t happy with Bargains R Us. Meanwhile, Doug’s managers sit in the office at the top of the store, hidden away from grumpy customers, enjoying life and watching the big bucks roll in.

Doug the sock creature

Doug isn't a happy man

Doug never wanted to work in retail – from a young age Doug dreamed of being an artist, travelling the world painting scenes in Paris, Venice, New York… Unfortunately Doug never really had any artistic skill and everyone laughed at his artwork. This made Doug feel very insecure and he never went to art school and chose to study a Bachelor in Business instead.

When it came to finding a job, Doug had difficulties. Despite being a genuinely nice guy when you get to know him, everyone assumed his wild hair and less-than-impressive university scores meant he was lazy and a risky person to employ. Only Bargains R Us paid any interest in him because they don’t care who they employ and barely even looked at him in the interview. Doug is a hard worker and despite hating his job he tries his best to deliver the best possible customer service, but he still dreams of a different life.

Doug the sock creature

Nice tie.

Doug’s brother, Jeff, is a much cooler and more relaxed guy, although no one can take him seriously either. The two of them get together sometimes for a beer but don’t say much to each other. There’s not much to say, really. Doug and Jeff’s parents are tough characters and don’t think their two sons have made enough of their lives and one day Doug would like to do something that really impresses them. Until he works out what that would be, he will keep resolving complaints at Bargains R Us.

Doug is the latest edition of the Zaum sock menagerie and is on sale at my Etsy Store.

Like Whoa Man!

Saturday, October 2nd, 2010

Hey dudes! Wassssup? Ok I had planned on writing this entire entry in an American hippie voice but I am officially giving up as of… now. Meanwhile, meet Jeff!

Jeff the hippie


Jeff was born, raised and still resides in a small beach town on the coast of Queensland yet somehow he managed to get an American surfer accent. We think it’s because he spent a lot of time playing with a Surf’s Up Beach Ken Doll when he was a kid and has since based his accent on that. What we do know about Jeff is that he actually hates surfing as he is scared of sharks. Instead, Jeff spends a lot of his time in local national forests, looking up at the trees. He loves trees. If someone is planning on knocking down a tree, Jeff will be there protesting with his fellow tree-lovers, waving banners and shaking his fist.

Jeff the hippie

Soaking up the rays

Jeff in an outdoors man and whenever he has to be inside, he’ll take any opportunity to stand by a window and gaze at the wonders outside. This is a problem for him as he is the warehouse manager for a white goods company and so he has to spend a lot of time in a very big shed. How he managed to get promoted to manager, no one knows. He has no clue what is going on but he’s real friendly and a great boss to work for. If any of his staff want a day off, Jeff doesn’t question them for a second! “No worries! Take as much time as you want! I’ll handle the warehouse,” he says.

Jeff the hippie

Look at those long locks!

Around town, Jeff is known as the scruffy hippie who desperately needs a haircut but everyone knows he’s harmless. He wouldn’t hurt a fly. In fact, he likes to help out whenever he can and last week he was seen helping old Walter, the blind rabbit, get a can of carrots off the shelf at the supermarket. He’s a good soul.

Jeff the hippie

Handsome in his own way

Most people are surprised to hear that his cousin is Clarence – Miss Universe. While Jeff might scrub up ok after a good bath and some decent grooming, he’s hardly on the same level as his beauty-queen family member. They don’t talk much.