Posts Tagged ‘recycle’

Art vs Science

Sunday, December 11th, 2011

I realise I have forgotten to mention that I am soon to be a world-famous sock artist who has exhibited in one of Paris’s hippest joints. Yes, that’s right. I’m going to be putting my socks on show at Café A – the hippest, grooviest, BoBo-est Café/gallery space in Paris that happens to be connected to the Récollets. When I first found out that I was going to be moving to an artists’ residency, I thought that maybe I would get to go to some cool exhibition opening. It never crossed my mind that I would have the opportunity to put something IN the exhibition for arty French people to come and look at.

A few weeks ago, all of the scientists and artists living at the Récollets were invited to submit ideas for an exhibition with the subject of “Art vs Science.” I jumped at the opportunity to exhibit work in Paris and submitted the idea of making a science laboratory out of socks. My idea has been accepted and for the past two weeks I have been making microscopes, scalpels and coffee cups (scientists need caffeine) out of socks. This Friday the exhibition opens with a vernissage (aka free wine) at 7pm and apparently lots of ‘cool’ people have been invited. This makes me nervous. I thought this thing would be little and no one would come to it but it seems it maybe actually get some sort of turn out. Terrifying.

Anyway, I still have some work to do on it before I post photos but I will let you know how it goes. In the mean time, anyone would happens to be in Paris this Friday night should come!

Art or Science Poster

Cool.

A Beaut Birthday Present

Friday, December 2nd, 2011

I can finally reveal to the world a project that I was working on over the last couple of weeks. It was a birthday present for my Dad and it finally arrived in Australia, just 2 days late! Not bad considering the French postal service was involved.

Meet Chuck.

Chuck

Hello.

Never will you meet a more helpful man than Chuck. No task is too big, too hard, too heavy, too tough. Chuck will find a way to do it and without a complaint, without a sigh, he will get down to work (except electrical and plumbing work.) Chuck loves helping people but he doesn’t do it for the reward or the thanks – he does it because he knows it is the right thing to do. If he has the skills, knowledge or strength that a person needs in order to complete a task, all they have to do is ask.

Chuck

He's handy.

Chuck loves working with his hands and when he isn’t helping someone you will find him in his shed. He dreams of having a big workshop in his backyard where he can keep his tools and have enough space to make things. Wood is his product of choice and he would love to spend all of his time building things such as surfboards, kayaks and fruit bowls.

The problem is, Chuck also spends a lot of his time fighting crime. He doesn’t go searching for trouble – trouble finds him. Luckily Chuck has a black belt in karate and is best friends with the local Chief of Police. Every time he encounters a baddies – BAM! Chuck roundhouse kicks him to the ground and sends him straight to the lock-up. Chuck was awarded a Citizenship award recently be he honourably declined, saying that he is just trying to keep the streets safe and he just gotta do what he gotta do.

Chuck

Nice beard.

Chuck is a family man – he has a wife, three kids and a dog. He goes home every night at 6pm, just in time for dinner. Chuck thinks his wife is the best cook in the whole wide world and tells her that every night as he licks his plate clean. Chuck likes to encourage his kids to go out and follow their dreams and see the world. He’s full of great advice and he has really big muscles.

Chuck is NOT for sale because he now lives with my Dad and drives around in a white van in the western suburbs of Perth.

Martin is NOT a Reindeer

Friday, October 21st, 2011

Everyone, meet Martin.

Martin the Zebra

Hello Martin

Martin would like to make it clear that he is NOT a reindeer. He is a full-blooded zebra, born from a zebra mum and a zebra dad and he will always be a zebra no matter what stupid costumes people force him to wear. Unfortunately for Martin, his mother made him join a youth group that puts a Christmas show every year for all of the parents to come and watch and his body shape and general appearance makes him perfect for the lead role of Rudolf. Put a red nose and some antlers on Martin and BAM! Instant Rudolf. The play leaders love it and don’t understand why he hates it so much. He was born to play Rudolf, they say. Really, Martin would prefer to be backstage where no one can see him, instead of up at the front of the stage with a bunch of elves singing about how he has such a shiny nose.

Martin the Zebra

That's not his real nose.

Martin is in second year of high school and certain ‘incidents’ that happened in the past two years have led him to having to join the youth group. It is hoped that by being part of the group he will find some direction and stability and help him stop spray painting swear words all over public spaces. Really, he is just bored and wishes he could grow up faster. Being a teenager is boring, annoying and pointless. He wants to be old enough to leave home, get a job and travel the world on his own. One day he wants to be an astronaut but apparently to do that you need to be good at maths and science and he hasn’t attended many of those classes lately.

Martin the Zebra

Martin

Martin won’t admit it but he’s in love. There’s this girl that he often sees at a local beauty salon – she has amazing hair! He has never said anything to her and she probably doesn’t know his exists but one day he hopes they might be able to go to the movies together. Martin has never had a girlfriend and the idea scares him a bit but some of his friends have been out with girls and they said it was ok. You just have to buy them presents or pay for their lunch and then they seem to like you. Martin reckons he could do that.

So as far as this Christmas play goes, Martin is trying his best to get out of it. Last year he tried to pretend he had a stomach bug but no one believed him. This year he is considering breaking his own arm but he knows they’ll just find some way of decorating his plaster with green and red tinsel. The least they could do is give him some antlers that weren’t back to front. It’s seriously embarrassing.

Martin the Zebra

He hates these antlers

Martin is available for purchase from my Etsy Store. Save him from his Christmas concert shame…

Doug is Depressed.

Saturday, October 1st, 2011

Everyone meet Doug.

Doug the sock creature

Meet Doug

Doug is the Senior Complaints Manager at Bargains R Us and he hates his job. Who wouldn’t? All day he deals with the hundreds of disgruntled customers who discover that sometimes it is best to pay a little bit more to get a better quality product. Not only this, but Doug is in charge of the incompetent teenage staff that the shop employs to answer phone calls and handle returned goods. From 8 ’til 5 everyday, Doug waits for the next attack from a bitter old lady or an unimpressed business man who aren’t happy with Bargains R Us. Meanwhile, Doug’s managers sit in the office at the top of the store, hidden away from grumpy customers, enjoying life and watching the big bucks roll in.

Doug the sock creature

Doug isn't a happy man

Doug never wanted to work in retail – from a young age Doug dreamed of being an artist, travelling the world painting scenes in Paris, Venice, New York… Unfortunately Doug never really had any artistic skill and everyone laughed at his artwork. This made Doug feel very insecure and he never went to art school and chose to study a Bachelor in Business instead.

When it came to finding a job, Doug had difficulties. Despite being a genuinely nice guy when you get to know him, everyone assumed his wild hair and less-than-impressive university scores meant he was lazy and a risky person to employ. Only Bargains R Us paid any interest in him because they don’t care who they employ and barely even looked at him in the interview. Doug is a hard worker and despite hating his job he tries his best to deliver the best possible customer service, but he still dreams of a different life.

Doug the sock creature

Nice tie.

Doug’s brother, Jeff, is a much cooler and more relaxed guy, although no one can take him seriously either. The two of them get together sometimes for a beer but don’t say much to each other. There’s not much to say, really. Doug and Jeff’s parents are tough characters and don’t think their two sons have made enough of their lives and one day Doug would like to do something that really impresses them. Until he works out what that would be, he will keep resolving complaints at Bargains R Us.

Doug is the latest edition of the Zaum sock menagerie and is on sale at my Etsy Store.

Jacob is Ready to Discover New Muds

Friday, August 5th, 2011

Jacob, my mudwalking sock creature, is for sale on my Etsy store and is looking for new lands to discover and new muds to walk. He’s the perfect gift for mudwalkers, Dutch family members or that grubby person in your life. Buy him now.

Mudwalker

Love me.

Walk This Way

Friday, June 24th, 2011

Introducing the latest edition to the Zaum menagerie – everyone, meet Jacob. Jacob, meet everyone.

Jacob the mud walker
Hello…

Jacob was born near the Zuidplaspolder – the lowest point of the Netherlands and has always felt a strong affinity to all things ‘marshy’. This is potentially because his mother gave birth to him in a swamp (it’s a long story involving flat bike tyres, a windmill and lots of herring) and the fact he spent a lot of time playing in canals and soggy ground throughout his childhood. Whatever the case, Jacob has never shied away from getting a bit dirty.

Jacob the mudwalker

Jacob is ready for any muddy situation

Unfortunately for Jacob, this backfired slightly in that he was constantly teased and getting into trouble at school for the muck under his finger nails and the general stench that wafted off his skin. But no matter how many times he was tripped up by bullies, he couldn’t stay away from the ooey-gooey goodness that mud provided. In his opinion, all humans should live in mud, be constantly coated in mud, and live off the creatures and fungus that grow in and around mud. There is nothing better.

This is why when it came time for Jacob to leave home and find himself a job, he headed to the north of the Netherlands and took up mudwalking. He couldn’t believe his luck when he found out that he could make a living taking tourists on treks across the North sea sea-bed when the tide was out. Suddenly people were interested in his passion – people wanted to become with mud, just like him!

Jacob the mud walker

Everywhere he goes, he takes his mudwalking stick

While he did manage to get a job as a mudwalk tour guide, it wasn’t easy. People get scared by his odd looks and obsession with the slimy stuff. Due to decades of contact with mud, Jacob’s pasty-white skin has turned into a dark, mouldy-black. His blonde hair has permanently stuck to the top of his head and you can’t tell the difference between hair and skin. The only part of his face that is easily decipherable are his eyes that bulge out in a mole-like appearance. The only part of him that makes him clearly a Dutch-man are his limbs – long and gangly compared to the rest of his body. His legs are excellent tools for getting out of tricky mud-situations and his arms can pull out stuck tourists in an instant.

Every time he heads out on an expedition into the great mud, Jacob will always wear his lucky green hat. It is the only colourful item that he will wear – he never washes his mudwalking outfits as he has broken too many washing machines and he hates doing it by hand. His hat, however, is his pride and joy and he will do anything to avoid it getting muddy. In addition, he attached a small bell to the back of it in case of emergencies – should he ever get completely stuck in the mud he will ring the bell to call for help. Now that’s a pro-mudwalker.

Jacob the mud walker

Lindt Bunnies aren't the only ones who need bells

Jacob will be available for purchase from my Etsy Store soon! I just need to go to the post office and work out postage costs… That’ll be fun. Not. Also, Jacob is made from a sock that had a one in three chance of being used by me when I went mudwalking in Holland. The socks I actually used were beyond repair so this is as good as I could do. I don’t think any quarantine departments would have been too happy about me sending mud-filled socks across their borders.

She’s Jazzin’!

Friday, December 10th, 2010

And one! And two! And lift those legs! Go go go go!

Tania

WOO!

No one can burn fat, increase heart rates and tone your butt like Tania. She knows all the best moves to get you into the best shape possible. Tania runs Jazzercise classes at the local gym three times a day, and never tires from all that exercise. She is super fit, super strong and super sexy. Everyone comes to her classes in the hope of looking as good as her one day, but for a body like hers, you need to live Jazzercise.

Tania has had a troublesome life – she was born into a large family and Super Chicken is her brother. They both have impressive hair styles and that bottom… A clear genetic connection. There is, however, some speculation and gossip around the town that suggests Tania’s biological father was in fact the dark and mysterious duck who passed through briefly in 1987. She definitely has his plumage on her wings. Because of this, Tania always felt somewhat excluded from her family and left home at a young age.

Tania

She's sporty!

Tania lived on the streets and in hostels for some of her teenage years until one day she was in her local Target store and saw a Jazzercise instruction video. The rest is history – she cleaned up her act and took up Jazzercise for a living and hasn’t looked back. She has even made an instruction DVD of her own and was featured on morning television.

She doesn’t speak to her brother much as he is usually busy fighting crime and saving the world but she is starting to attend family gatherings more often. She is hoping to release a range of Jazzercise outfits mostly made from silver lycra. So far she has designed a matching sweat band and leg warmers set and she has been in discussions with the folks at Nike to develop the range further.

Tania

Gorgeous.

Buy Tania now from my Etsy Store!

Sore Tooth Gary

Friday, December 10th, 2010

No one likes to feel unneeded, unloved, unnecessary. Gary was quite happy filling the gap in a perfectly good set of teeth, nestled up the back with the other molars. He was in good shape and wasn’t experiencing any sort of decay. But one day a visit to a dentist saw him replaced by a shiny gold upgrade. His celebrity owner no longer wanted regular white teeth – gold implants gave him the extra bling he desired and Gary couldn’t provide.

Gary

How can you not love a face like that?

And so Gary was disbanded, alone in the world where everything was new and foreign. His fellow extracted teeth were tossed into a bin, never to be seen again, but Gary managed to fall to the floor and freedom was his.

If only Gary wanted freedom. Now he had to find his way in the world with no money, no job, no where to live. Life in a mouth was so comfortable and secure and now he had to fend for himself.

Gary

He's so little!

Gary realised he needed to find himself a job and googled “Jobs in demand”. He chose the first one he saw and enrolled in Accounting 101 at university. He hated it. He still does, but he now gets up in the morning, eats baked beans on toast, puts on his ragged backpack and walks into work where he spends the day staring at spreadsheets.

He has no friends, he never goes out and since being removed from his previous owner’s mouth, he no longer gets the nutrients and daily brushing he requires to keep shiny and white. He is slowly turning brown and decay is eating him from the inside out. One day there will be nothing left of him. No wonder he looks so sad.

Gary

All he has are his dreams.

Give Gary the home he has always dreamed of… he’s on sale now at my Etsy Store.

It’s a Bird… It’s a Plane… It’s a Mix of Both!

Thursday, September 23rd, 2010

Chickens are awesome. They eat your left overs, they aerate your garden, they lay eggs. What more could you want from a creature apart from super-hero powers? Well look what we have here…

Super chicken

It's Super Chicken!

The coolest crime fighting chicken in history, Super Chicken has the sickest cape and the coolest mow-hawk. All the other chickens, and super heros, are jealous of his stylin’.

Super chicken

Look at those long legs!

With legs the size of tree-trunks, Super Chicken can get anywhere faster than you or any other person in the world can. You better believe it – he’s super fast. His cape helps with the speed-factor, too.

Super Chicken

A silver lining

You know a person has taste and super-hero-powers when his cape is made from red material (for speed) with a silver lining (for super powers). It also comes in handy when he goes to the disco (which he does frequently) as he can turn the cape around and it becomes an instant disco-light attractor. Nothing says DISCO FLASH! like that cape!

Super Chicken

Lookin' good from all angles

Speaking of disco-dancin’ would you look at that butt? Nothing grooves on the dance floor better than a large-bottomed Super Chicken. That red rear attracts all the ladies.

Super chicken

Coolin'

When he’s not at the disco he’s waiting for the next opportunity to save the world – the entire time looking as cool as a cucumber and as a hot as BURNING FLAMES. That’s the life of Super Chicken.

On sale soon!

It’s a Beautiful Thing

Tuesday, September 21st, 2010

Last time I really, really wanted something, I wrote about it on here, dropped enough hints and to my huge surprise and absolute delight, some wonderful people picked up the clues and gave me a red felt travel wallet for my birthday! Christmas is only 95 days away (yikes…) and I have just been introduced to Ron D. Swan, the swan in Castlemaine, Victoria who makes beautiful pannier bags. Such a clever bird.

Look at these:

Ron D. Swan bag

I can't believe a feathered creature could make such a nice bag.

Saddle bag

Look! It comes in red!

The bags clip to the side of your bike for easy storage while cycling and can then be taken off and worn as a shoulder bag. Genius! They’re made from recycled canvas so they’re also environmentally a-okay. Not exactly cheap, but they’re so beautiful!