Posts Tagged ‘reindeer’

Martin is NOT a Reindeer

Friday, October 21st, 2011

Everyone, meet Martin.

Martin the Zebra

Hello Martin

Martin would like to make it clear that he is NOT a reindeer. He is a full-blooded zebra, born from a zebra mum and a zebra dad and he will always be a zebra no matter what stupid costumes people force him to wear. Unfortunately for Martin, his mother made him join a youth group that puts a Christmas show every year for all of the parents to come and watch and his body shape and general appearance makes him perfect for the lead role of Rudolf. Put a red nose and some antlers on Martin and BAM! Instant Rudolf. The play leaders love it and don’t understand why he hates it so much. He was born to play Rudolf, they say. Really, Martin would prefer to be backstage where no one can see him, instead of up at the front of the stage with a bunch of elves singing about how he has such a shiny nose.

Martin the Zebra

That's not his real nose.

Martin is in second year of high school and certain ‘incidents’ that happened in the past two years have led him to having to join the youth group. It is hoped that by being part of the group he will find some direction and stability and help him stop spray painting swear words all over public spaces. Really, he is just bored and wishes he could grow up faster. Being a teenager is boring, annoying and pointless. He wants to be old enough to leave home, get a job and travel the world on his own. One day he wants to be an astronaut but apparently to do that you need to be good at maths and science and he hasn’t attended many of those classes lately.

Martin the Zebra

Martin

Martin won’t admit it but he’s in love. There’s this girl that he often sees at a local beauty salon – she has amazing hair! He has never said anything to her and she probably doesn’t know his exists but one day he hopes they might be able to go to the movies together. Martin has never had a girlfriend and the idea scares him a bit but some of his friends have been out with girls and they said it was ok. You just have to buy them presents or pay for their lunch and then they seem to like you. Martin reckons he could do that.

So as far as this Christmas play goes, Martin is trying his best to get out of it. Last year he tried to pretend he had a stomach bug but no one believed him. This year he is considering breaking his own arm but he knows they’ll just find some way of decorating his plaster with green and red tinsel. The least they could do is give him some antlers that weren’t back to front. It’s seriously embarrassing.

Martin the Zebra

He hates these antlers

Martin is available for purchase from my Etsy Store. Save him from his Christmas concert shame…