Posts Tagged ‘rubbish’

What’s in the Canal Today?

Monday, October 17th, 2011

It was a bright and sunny weekend, so lots of ‘outdoor walking time’ was had. Yesterday we headed north along the canal and spotted a few interesting objects floating in the water along the way. I thought I would share these with you. I saw:

Couch in the canal

A couch.

Cans and bottles in the canal

Various consumed beverages.

Estonian viking boat

An Estonian Viking Boat.

During my run this morning I saw a double mattress in the canal. I contemplated using it as a raft to paddle myself home but wasn’t confident on how it would fare in the locks.

The Sunny Side of News

Tuesday, April 6th, 2010

I have been to England a few times in my life and am always keen to see what The Sun newspaper has to tell me. Until I discovered The Sun, I always thought newspapers were supposed to be boring but apparently not. The Sun focuses on the important things in life and provides us with the important details and serious news surrounding our favourite celebrities, local idiots and people who just make you roll your eyes. Oh and sex. Forgot about that.

I was directed to a wonderful account that appears on The Sun website. I now recommend you read it, too – Duo try to check in dead relative.

GREAT STUFF. Perhaps the people of England try their hardest to get into the news and the easiest option is to try for The Sun. All you need to do is walk around naked or try and travel with a dead person. Really, I don’t blame them. Why should you pay that much money to transport a person, just because they’re dead? If they’re still capable of sitting in a seat and they have paid for their ticket then they should still be allowed to travel. This man had two people travelling with him – it would be a different story if he was travelling on his own. Plus he won’t eat any of the food, meaning one more passenger will be able to choose the chicken and won’t be stuck with the lima beans. He won’t push back the seat, he won’t press the “Bring me a drink!” button. He may spread some diseases through the air conditioning but that would happen anyway. I really don’t see the problem. He would be a perfectly well behaved guest and I would be honoured to fly with him.

Returning to The Sun, you know you’re on to a good thing when the ‘News’ section is broken down into topics including Captain Crunch, Sun City, Gardening and Weird. The hot topics of today are the election announcement (good), Jordan’s contemplation of suicide after breaking up with Peter (right…), Wayne Rooney has hurt his leg (uhuh…), and Dannii Minogue wants more than one baby. Wow. It makes The West look like a bible of wisdom and intelligence.

I had almost forgotten but I suppose the supreme moment of genius for this newspaper is page 3. Every edition dedicates page 3 to photos of a pretty girl with fake boobs who forgot to wear her bikini. Now that’s newsworthy.

I do have to cry about the fact that rubbish like this is allowed to be so easily published and pushed out into the world for people to read, and yet it is so hard for people with real writing talent to publish their work. There’s no way I would write for a publication like The Sun (except perhaps as a dare and in which case I would enjoy writing an article riddled with sarcasm) but sometimes I wonder if it would just be easier to succumb. I’d have to move to England first, PLUS gain a working knowledge of local celebrities so it looks like it won’t be happening any time soon. Phew.