Posts Tagged ‘sock creature’

Who is that Guy?

Wednesday, May 16th, 2012

There’s a new sock creature in town but no one really knows who he is.

That guy sock creature

Hello, Sir.

He is one of those mysterious types – people are saying he is either an undercover agent working for some secret governmental department (or the tax office) or he is Spanish. His moustache would suggest the latter but no Spaniards are that tall. Have you seen his legs?

That guy sock creature

He's really tall for a Spanish person.

There is also the question of the remarkably spiky hair that descends down his back. Rumours are spreading that maybe he comes from some sort of demonic land and has come to influence innocent children, encouraging them to join his cult, but the fact is he doesn’t talk to anyone. Not a soul. No one even really knows if he can speak, and if he does, what language. Maybe, they say, he doesn’t have a tongue.

That guy hairy back

You can't blame a guy for having a hairy back, but this is just strange.

Everyone refers to him as either, “That Guy”, “The Red One” or “Alf” as they figure he’s from another planet. He doesn’t seem to be as friendly and outgoing as the real Alf, which is really quite disappointing. All That Guy does is walk into the pub staring with his blank-eyed-look at no one in particular, and then he points at the bottles of Coke lining the fridge. He sits at the bar, sipping slowly through a straw, occasionally turning to look at who has just walked through the door. Once he has finished his drink he will order another, and then a third, a fourth, until the sun goes down, everyone heads home and the pub closes. He will then place the exact change on the counter, slide from his chair and leave.

That guy moustache

He sure does stare a lot.

No one knows where he lives. Once some of the neighbourhood kids tried to follow him home, but they lost sight of him when he disappeared into the woods. Some people say he gets sucked up into an alien spaceship and they claim to have seen bright lights shining over the deepest, darkest part of the woods at night time. Others say he climbs down a hole into the depths of the underworld, while others insist they have seen him walking past their windows in the early hours of the morning.

That guy hole in sock

He shows signs of having led a tough life – clearly life is hard where ever he is from

Normally the town’s folk wouldn’t put up with someone as strange as him hanging around, but the problem is that he is also a highly profitable tourist attraction. Bus loads of tourists roll into town every day hoping to catch a glimpse of this strange personality. The pub has never sold so much Surf ‘n’ Turf and the newsagent is making great business selling tshirts with “I Survived Seeing That Guy” and “What’s He Looking At?” printed on them.

You, too, can survive seeing That Guy – he’s on sale at my Etsy Store.

Stencil Fun

Sunday, April 22nd, 2012

An interesting challenge from a friend has prompted me to put more thought, effort and time into my desire to make ‘stuff’. So far the issue has been where to start and what ‘stuff’ actually is. I really need to work on refining this but on Friday I decided it would be a good idea to do some experimentation. A couple of weeks ago I had experimented with making stencils as ultimately I would love to create images that people want to hang on their walls but my drawing skills are non-existant. I therefore I am trying to find sneaky ways to get around this problem. My last attempts resulted in a collection of coloured keys which I rather like and immediately hung on MY wall (with masking tape. I need a frame.) Good start.

Key stencil

Keys. Keys. Keys.

On Friday I sat and pondered what exactly I should stencil next. My thoughts went back to my good sock friend, Gary, who I miss but I hope is enjoying his new life mud-walking in Tasmania.

Gary

I miss you, Gary.

When I send my sock creatures away to their new owners, I make little books containing the creature’s life story. On the front cover is a black and white image that I create in Photoshop with extremely complicated techniques. I would try and explain it to you but you’d be far too amazed by my Photoshop skills that your head might explode. We don’t want that.

Anyway, I took Gary’s black and white picture and added a sentence that has been hanging around in my head for about three weeks now. It doesn’t make much sense, but nothing I do really does. At least I’m consistently strange. Here was the end result after some careful knife-work:

Gary stencil

Good day for stencilling

After cutting out the stencil I then concocted a nice shade of greeny-blue and started painting. I need to invest in some better stencilling equipment as the paper I was using was too flimsy and moved around but I am still quite pleased with the result.

Gary stencil

What will lie underneath?

Gary stencil

Et voilà!

I loved Gary in sock-form and now I love him in stencil. I am really pleased with what I produced and can see how I can work on and improve my techniques. I want to start doing some different colour layers to add some more excitement. So stay tuned – new Zaum ‘stuff’ is coming to you soon!

Gary framed

He looks so good in a frame.

A Beaut Birthday Present

Friday, December 2nd, 2011

I can finally reveal to the world a project that I was working on over the last couple of weeks. It was a birthday present for my Dad and it finally arrived in Australia, just 2 days late! Not bad considering the French postal service was involved.

Meet Chuck.

Chuck

Hello.

Never will you meet a more helpful man than Chuck. No task is too big, too hard, too heavy, too tough. Chuck will find a way to do it and without a complaint, without a sigh, he will get down to work (except electrical and plumbing work.) Chuck loves helping people but he doesn’t do it for the reward or the thanks – he does it because he knows it is the right thing to do. If he has the skills, knowledge or strength that a person needs in order to complete a task, all they have to do is ask.

Chuck

He's handy.

Chuck loves working with his hands and when he isn’t helping someone you will find him in his shed. He dreams of having a big workshop in his backyard where he can keep his tools and have enough space to make things. Wood is his product of choice and he would love to spend all of his time building things such as surfboards, kayaks and fruit bowls.

The problem is, Chuck also spends a lot of his time fighting crime. He doesn’t go searching for trouble – trouble finds him. Luckily Chuck has a black belt in karate and is best friends with the local Chief of Police. Every time he encounters a baddies – BAM! Chuck roundhouse kicks him to the ground and sends him straight to the lock-up. Chuck was awarded a Citizenship award recently be he honourably declined, saying that he is just trying to keep the streets safe and he just gotta do what he gotta do.

Chuck

Nice beard.

Chuck is a family man – he has a wife, three kids and a dog. He goes home every night at 6pm, just in time for dinner. Chuck thinks his wife is the best cook in the whole wide world and tells her that every night as he licks his plate clean. Chuck likes to encourage his kids to go out and follow their dreams and see the world. He’s full of great advice and he has really big muscles.

Chuck is NOT for sale because he now lives with my Dad and drives around in a white van in the western suburbs of Perth.

Je Suis Français!

Tuesday, November 1st, 2011

Meet Adrian.

Adrian the Frenchman

Bonjour.

What can we say about Adrian…? He is French. He is 56 years old. He owns a brasserie in Paris that he works at day and night. He hates anything that isn’t French. He has a moustache.

Adrian

What a moustache!

Adrian is very proud of his nationality and rightly so – France has many good features including good food, good wine, lots of holidays. He took over the brasserie from his father, Jean, who also hated anything that wasn’t French. The brasserie is mostly frequented by old French men who have been going there all their lives, tagging along with their fathers back when they were children. Adrian spends most of his day talking to his clientele, smoking, and wiping the counter.

Whenever tourists accidentally enter his café in search of refreshment, Adrian sighs, rolls his eyes and marches over to the unsuspecting guests. “Eeye do not speek Eenglish,” he will say, hoping they leave. But some will insist on staying, so he will slam a menu down on the table and storm off behind the bar. Adrian’s problem with tourists is that they always want to change something in their order – they are never happy with how a dish is served. They want chips instead of potatoes, or even worse they ask for their steak tartare to be cooked. Cooked! Imagine that! No one understands steak tartare like the French.

Adrian spends a lot of time looking at himself in the reflection on the beer taps. Over the years he has grown an impressive moustache which he likes to keep well defined. Grooming is an important part of the Parisian lifestyle and Adrian always want to look his best. He also likes to wear a beret, highlighting his love for his country. Despite his moustache, Adrian has never married, despite proposing to at least three women and hitting on many more. Perhaps it is his slight lack of height – at just 140cm Adrian is not tall. However, he doesn’t let that get to him. Whenever he sees an attractive female, he makes sure she knows it.

Adrian

He's a short man.

Adrian closes his brasserie for the entire month of August every year and heads south to Nice. He enjoys spending his time by the seaside, looking at the beautiful women and floating lazily in the ocean. Usually his entire family joins him in Nice – he has three brothers, two sisters and nine nieces and nephews. He is the grumpy uncle and the children usually stay away from, avoiding long discussions about the importance of school and how great France is.

Adrian is on sale at my Etsy Store. Take him far, far away from France! He needs to see the world.

It’s All About the Hair

Monday, October 31st, 2011

Meet Angelique.

Angelique

Hello.

Angelique is half Parisian, half Algerian, and the proud owner of an amazing head of hair. She works as a sales assistant at Le Chic hair and nail salon on Boulevard de Sébastopol, one of the busiest African beauty streets in Paris. She has been voted “Best Sales Assistant” via customer reviews every month since she started there. Angelique loves her work and puts every effort into her own appearance in order to set a good example for the store. All the ladies come to get their hair braided and their nails varnished by Angelique and they keep telling her she should set up her own store. Unfortunately, the guy she works for barely pays her a cent and threatens to cut off her beautiful long locks if she dares leave. It’s a tough world in the beauty scene.

Angelique

So pretty.

Angelique has always been interested in fashion and beauty – her mother likes to tell the story about how when Angelique was just six months old, she managed to apply some lipstick she had found on the floor. These days, Angelique gets up at 5am every day in order to start getting ready for the day. It takes a long time to look this good. Her hair is her favourite personal attribute – every day she cleans and styles her hair, forming it into a different shape depending on her mood and the theme of her outfit. She loves to add a bit of bling to her attire – today she is wearing a lovely yellow bow (given to her by one of her favourite clients) and a gold necklace she saved up to buy.

Angelique dreams of opening her own store one day. Not only would she offer hair and nail services, but there would be a designated space for the husbands and boyfriends to wait with televisions and magazines, as well as free coffee for all customers. She would also offer beauty consultation services for those ladies who just don’t know what to do with their hair. When she lies in bed at night time, she thinks about the design of her store, what colours she would use and what the name would be. She would really like to call her store So Angelique but she is worried she might appear too arrogant.

Angelique

How does she do that with her hair?

When Angelique is working and talking to her clients she is vibrant, fun and vivacious. However, it is a much different story when she is talking to boys. She is shy and would never dream of asking a boy out. She would love to have a boyfriend but whenever a guy shows interest in her, she turns away and hides. Lots of boys have tried – she is so beautiful! There is one boy in particular who keeps walking past her store, trying to catch her eye. He is a strange looking fellow with zebra stripes and he is always wearing reindeer antlers. Maybe one day they will meet and fall in love. Angelique certainly hopes so.

Angelique is on sale at my Etsy Store. Take her home today!

The Internet is a Mysterious Thing

Monday, October 31st, 2011

I was just looking at the analytics for my website (how many people are visiting my site etc) and in the past month, five people have arrived at my site after searching for “Bearded Mole”. I like this fact. I can sense a sock creature stemming from this…

Doug is Depressed.

Saturday, October 1st, 2011

Everyone meet Doug.

Doug the sock creature

Meet Doug

Doug is the Senior Complaints Manager at Bargains R Us and he hates his job. Who wouldn’t? All day he deals with the hundreds of disgruntled customers who discover that sometimes it is best to pay a little bit more to get a better quality product. Not only this, but Doug is in charge of the incompetent teenage staff that the shop employs to answer phone calls and handle returned goods. From 8 ’til 5 everyday, Doug waits for the next attack from a bitter old lady or an unimpressed business man who aren’t happy with Bargains R Us. Meanwhile, Doug’s managers sit in the office at the top of the store, hidden away from grumpy customers, enjoying life and watching the big bucks roll in.

Doug the sock creature

Doug isn't a happy man

Doug never wanted to work in retail – from a young age Doug dreamed of being an artist, travelling the world painting scenes in Paris, Venice, New York… Unfortunately Doug never really had any artistic skill and everyone laughed at his artwork. This made Doug feel very insecure and he never went to art school and chose to study a Bachelor in Business instead.

When it came to finding a job, Doug had difficulties. Despite being a genuinely nice guy when you get to know him, everyone assumed his wild hair and less-than-impressive university scores meant he was lazy and a risky person to employ. Only Bargains R Us paid any interest in him because they don’t care who they employ and barely even looked at him in the interview. Doug is a hard worker and despite hating his job he tries his best to deliver the best possible customer service, but he still dreams of a different life.

Doug the sock creature

Nice tie.

Doug’s brother, Jeff, is a much cooler and more relaxed guy, although no one can take him seriously either. The two of them get together sometimes for a beer but don’t say much to each other. There’s not much to say, really. Doug and Jeff’s parents are tough characters and don’t think their two sons have made enough of their lives and one day Doug would like to do something that really impresses them. Until he works out what that would be, he will keep resolving complaints at Bargains R Us.

Doug is the latest edition of the Zaum sock menagerie and is on sale at my Etsy Store.

Bye Bye Jacob

Sunday, August 14th, 2011

Jacob was packaged up and shipped out on Friday. I will miss having a little mudwalker in the house. My fear of going to the French post office and discovering how much he would cost to send to Australia turned out to be unnecessary. It was easy and remarkable inexpensive! So now it appears I have no excuses for not sending my friends and family back home presents. Dang.

Jacob the mudwalker

Jacob and his little book and "Thanks for buying me" card

I borrowed a cutting mat and knife off my next door neighbour, Josh. It’s handy having artists living next door to you.

Farewell Jacob!

Thursday, August 11th, 2011

I come to you on this glorious Thursday morn in sunny Paris bringing news that is both good and bad. Jacob, my cute and squishy mudwalking sock creature, has just been sold so I must wrap him up and send him on his way. He is heading to Tasmania of all places. I think he will fit in well.

Jacob the mudwalker

I'm going to miss those eyes.

Jacob is Ready to Discover New Muds

Friday, August 5th, 2011

Jacob, my mudwalking sock creature, is for sale on my Etsy store and is looking for new lands to discover and new muds to walk. He’s the perfect gift for mudwalkers, Dutch family members or that grubby person in your life. Buy him now.

Mudwalker

Love me.