Posts Tagged ‘tour guide’

That’s the End of that Chapter

Thursday, August 4th, 2011

So I quit my job. Yes, I only did it for a few weeks, however within those few weeks I managed to be placed in very uncomfortable situations that made me look like a fool and I don’t like that. The management stuffed me around, was rude and generally incomprehensible so I had enough. So I have handed in my notice and I am no longer a tour guide. Sad, but true. What this has given me is a new interest in French history AND a new desire to write. Up until now I have been very slack with my writing but while taking groups of tourists around and providing them with some very ordinary stories about Paris, I realised that I am a better story teller than that and I could do more. So I will.

Poor Me.

Friday, July 29th, 2011

Ok, that’s it. I’m having a whinge. It has been one of those days where I’m fairly certain an evil little man with a remote control and a general mean streak is sitting up in the sky and causing things to happen to me JUST TO BE ANNOYING. He is definitely French and he is most certainly short. I don’t like him. In fact, I hope his arms fall off because this is just ridiculous. Ok, here are the rubbish things that happened to me today:

  1. Whilst making coffee this morning, the plunger decided it was a volcano and spurted hot coffee all over my perfectly clean jeans.
  2. I had to take a tour today at 1pm so I left home at 12.15pm which gives me enough time to find a Velib (which can be tricky sometimes) and ride down to Place Saint Michel. I left the house and found there were no Velibs in the stations near me so I started to walk towards Place Saint Michel. On the way, I found a Velib station, took a bike and all was fine and dandy until BANG! I must have ridden over something sharp and my back tyre blew. So I then had to find a station to put the bike into so I could take another one which should have been easy except the closest station I found had one spot where I could have put the bike back except it was broken. So I then had to walk down the street, pushing the bike in search for another. It took me 10 minutes to find a station that wasn’t full where I could leave the bike. I then had to keep walking to another station as you have to wait five minutes in between taking bikes. By this time, I was late for work. I finally found another bike and rode like the wind (hitting every possible red traffic light) and made it just in time to be told that today was the day they were reporting back to the ‘Big Boss’ as to what time staff were arriving. Excellent.
  3. It rained for about 15 minutes of my tour – at one point quite significantly.
  4. I had an arrogant, know-it-all, likes to butt in, Frenchman on my tour who didn’t give me ANYTHING at the end. He brought with him his two know-it-all sons who proceeded to tell me the CORRECT history of France and how many things I had said wrong (this was probably a good thing though… I considered stealing his brain. Although I did wonder why on earth an 8 year old boy knows the names of every single King of France. He must get teased at school.)
  5. I had another arrogant Irishman on the tour who also didn’t tip me.
  6. My group was full of poor backpackers who are living on 4 Euros a day and therefore are disinclined to give any of it to me for taking them on a 4-hour walk.
  7. During the break in the middle of the tour, I bought myself a nutella crêpe because usually they make everything better. This crêpe was made by a 14 year old boy who had clearly never done it before and who proceeded to completely and utterly stuff it up. It was awful and I had to throw most of it in the bin because it wasn’t worth the calories.
  8. At the end of the tour I took a group to a ‘local French restaurant’ where they could have ‘real French food’ at ‘great prices’ and I proceeded to make measly centimes (that’s French for cents) for each person I brought.
  9. Someone gave me a Russian coin as part of my tip.
  10. I had to come home and cook dinner and then stupidly left the stove top on (I never do this.) Thankfully no fires resulted so clearly the little man has had enough.
  11. I discovered that an apartment that I have been trying to book for when Tom and I go to New York and that up until now has appeared to be available and the guy renting the apartment kept telling me was available, is, in fact, UNAVAILABLE. And now the internet is working at a snail’s pace and I am having to try and find somewhere else for us to stay.
So, as you can see, I’m having a bit of a whinge because I did also spend the day walking around Paris seeing the Louvre, the Seine, Notre Dame, the Eiffel Tower, the Grand Palais etc, and then I did come home to find that Tom had mopped the floor, defrosted the freezer AND bought ice cream for dessert. The ice cream did fix most things. Except for the internet. That’s still a pain.

Tour Number Two

Thursday, July 28th, 2011

My second attempt at tour guiding took place on Saturday and was far more successful than the first. Always nice when things improve. Half way through the tour a very black and evil sky approached us from over the Tuilleries.

Black sky

Yipes.

We managed to make it to the half way point where we sit in Starbucks and McDonalds for 20 minutes while people stand in the queue to use the facilities. Then it poured. Perfect timing.

Rain in Paris

Phew.

Day 1.

Thursday, July 21st, 2011

I took my first ‘Free’ tour today. It went ok – it was a big group, it rained, an American family took forever to use the toilet… I managed to come away with some moolah but future tours will require me to squeeze more money out of those poor teenagers or it won’t be worth my while. It was fun and I managed to remember MOST of what I wanted to say. There were a few moments of “Umm… that guy’s name is… err….” but everyone seemed happy enough. I wasn’t supposed to start until tomorrow but was asked at the last minute to come in and cover. Tomorrow I am working again so we shall see how things go. I’m almost ready to hand in my notice… working takes up so much “walking around Paris aimlessly” time. Joking. Sort of.

New Europe

Spot me!

Meanwhile, I just discovered that I’m on their website! I’m so famous. Look at me!

Oh Yeah…

Sunday, July 17th, 2011

I forgot to mention something fairly important that has happened recently – I have been employed! I am going to start taking tourists on free three-hour walks through Paris as part of New Europe tours. So anyone planning on visiting Paris has to come on one of my tours and pay me lots of money because I will be living off the tips that I earn. I’ll give you a 10% discount – mates rates.